Friday, September 14, 2012

Long-ish Recap of the Crapiversary Weekend With Photos to Hold Your Attention?

Last Thursday night was the worst. Even though Thursday, the second day of school, wasn’t the actual DATE of the crapiversary this year, it felt like it was. It was like one big flashback from hell.

Every moment of that day took us right back to that Thursday a year ago, but we were helpless to change the outcome. A rainy morning. A day of work. Conversations with colleagues. The drive to the school carpool line. The humid air was heavy, as were our spirits. As five pm turned to six, I thought, “Why couldn’t we have been eating dinner like we usually were? Like we are now? Why did the electricity have to be out? Jack wanted to upload his Lego projects from the camera! Didn’t the other kids have homework that day?”

We went to bed remembering how it felt to climb into bed a year before, little Margaret in between us, hoping that sleep would erase the horror of the previous hours and bring our kid back to us.

Friday was hard, but not as brutal.


When Saturday and the actual date of September 8 arrived, we felt much better. Peace surrounded us. I’ve learned not to question this, but just to appreciate and accept pockets of peace when we get them.

Cards, flowers, new blue ribbons all over town and even on our local boys’ football helmets, emails, and many acts of love like Jack’s dear friend Courtland coming to mow the grass let us know that no one was forgetting what day it was.

When I stepped outside to get the paper, I saw hundreds of origami birds in the tree in front of our house. Our bird feeder tree. Our Easter egg tree. Cranes, geese, and many other birds swung in the breeze, celebrating our own Rare Bird and taking us back to his first word—uttered at a freakishly young age--when he saw the origami birds above his changing table.

The day felt covered in prayer, and indeed, so many of you were praying for us. My lovely Monkee sisters at Momastery wrote Jack’s name on their hands as a reminder to pray all day long. Photo after photo of “Jack” on hands of all ages and colors lifted us up all day long. I wanted to grab the tiny chubby ones and give them kisses and squeezes. It felt like the burden was spread out and shared all day long.


I’ve thought so much about this communal aspect of suffering.

If we—Tim, Anna and Margaret-- have to suffer no matter what, being separated from Jack, does it make sense to have others suffer with us? Would it be better to spare them? Saturday we experienced what it feels like to have a part of this burden carried by someone else and someone else and someone else all over the world. And although it may have felt a little like we were asking too much of others, it also felt right and holy.

We went to the cemetery to see the newly installed bench. Which turned out as well as something so crappy could. We laughed, we talked, we said a prayer. After that we made a run for the border to sit in “our booth” at Taco Bell. And yes, I tasted my first Doritos Locos Taco in Jack’s honor.

If you saw us, joined by my sister and her kids, you would have noticed a lot of laughter and silliness and fun. His name came easily. We remembered him with love, not pain, which has been an inexplicable blessing since day one of this nightmare.

We headed home right before a Tornado warning kicked in. Yep. Seriously. Out of nowhere, the sunny day turned dark and windy and violent rain poured down. And even with that, our shitty neighborhood creek remained empty, just as it has been all summer. Well.

Hunkered in the basement playing Apples to Apples, of course we kept thinking of that storm exactly one year before, but still we laughed and played. We did a puzzle in Jack’s honor.

Afterward, we started an early movie. While we were inside watching “The Hunger Games,” our neighbors were preparing a stunning surprise for us. Luminaria lined the long driveway. Each paper bag had a note about Jack on it. His teachers, friends, and neighbors shared memories, and it was beautiful to read that others could see what we saw in him.
We walked up and down the driveway reading, enjoy the now crisp, cool weather and feeling the LOVE. The love of so many people. The love of God. Jack’s love. And then, our neighbors showed us photos they had taken while setting up our surprise. Photos of a beautiful sunset -—pinks, purples and blues--right over the creek.

In the other direction, directly over our house, was an enormous double rainbow.

Yes, while we were inside watching a movie about kids competing in a match to the death, our dear friends were being lifted up and encouraged by God. We don’t get a lot of rainbows in our town. I’ve rarely if ever seen one here in my 40 plus years. Photos flooded in from friends across the country, of amazing sunsets and rainbows. Reminders of God’s faithfulness. Reminders that life does not end. And we felt grateful.




113 comments:

NanaDiana said...

oh.my. For once, I am speechless.

Laura at Ms. Smartie Pants said...

Amazing! What are we really without the love of friends and family. Just in awe, so glad you were blanketed in love!

Sybil said...

Love that you were able to end with a rainbow. God's promise to the world, to us, to you. Beautiful!

twingles said...

I thought about you on Saturday when I heard about the weather you were getting. I was like REALLY?!?!
You have really made Jack "knowable" thru this blog. I swear I feel like I know that kid.

The rainbows are amazing, as is your town and neighborhood.

Skye Harmony said...

Wow! You have wonderful neighbors. This brought tears to my eyes. I am so happy that the thoughtfulness of so many people lifted you up on a very hard day. The birds, the luminarias, the rainbows - so beautiful, just like Jack. Sending peace and love to your family.

Mexmom said...

People’s kindness really amazes me, I so glad that you are surrounded by all of them; and just know that even when we have never met and we are far away, I keep thinking of you and prayers go out your way a lot.

Red79 said...

For a crapiversary weekend, it sounds like it was the best it could be. Such amazing neighbors....the birds and luminaries. The best part though...the beautiful sunset and rainbow. Knowing Jack was there with all of you, what a blessing. In my thoughts.

Domestic Diva said...

Oh heavens, I am overcome with God's goodness and love. I am so thankful for his promise, that He will never leave us alone. I am so thankful that you have such amazing people in your life to lift you and comfort you in your time of need. I loved every part of this post. Thank you for this today,

Suburban Correspondent said...

I've heard both a rabbi and a Catholic priest say the same thing: "God doesn't prevent our suffering, but he suffers with us." So, in our choosing to remember with you, we were just acting our part as the body of Christ. It does mystify me as to why it makes a difference to have someone suffering alongside us when things are bad, but it certainly does. We can just feel God's love for us that way, I think.

Momma Holmes said...

The pictures, the love, the community, the words, they touched me in a brutiful way. Amen.

middle child said...

What a beautiful post. You have been blessed with the most wonderful friends and neighbors. Bless you.

Jen G. said...

Tears, just heartfelt and grateful tears that God came near to you and your sweet family on that day, and every day. So much love to you, Anna, and thank you for sharing holy evidence of God so very near to all of us.
love,
Jen G.

ashley said...

Anna -- your strength and spirit continues to overwhelm me. Prayed for you guys all weekend, and I continue to do so. ~Ashley in Louisiana

ScrappinLita said...

Love wins!

mollysmith222 said...

I saw that rainbow and I thought of you all as I drove near your house. The ribbons, the love, the awesomeness of a community that aches with you. Your family is always in my heart. I am glad you had some peace. XO

Lissa said...

You have such wonderful friends. The origami birds and the luminaries must have been such wonderful surprises. It's great that everyone is still helping to celebrate Jack's life <3

Lady Jennie said...

Tears, tears, tears. I both loved and wanted to sob over this post, over this "anniversary." I didn't do anything tangible (send card or anything) but please know that every step of the way I am here. I've been dreading and thinking about this week since last month.

Pam@OurAdventuresInHomeImprovement said...

Wow! So many amazing things were in this post. The birds, the ribbons, the luminaries, the rainbow. May God Bless all of you.

Pam

Northern Exposure said...

So moving, and an incredible testament to the spirit of community and human kindness!
'Remembered with love, not pain' - what a profound, peaceful, inspiring sentiment!

Princess Kate said...

I too saw that rainbow and thought right away it was sent for comfort. Always here thinking and praying for you Anna.

Meredith Self said...

We are all in this together. Sharing sorrow. Sharing joy.

May lovingkindness, compassion, joy and peace travel with you - and everyone with you!

Anonymous said...

sdaste 19AThe experience of grief is powerful. So, too, is your ability to help yourself heal. In doing the work of grieving, you are moving toward a renewed sense of meaning and purpose in your life.

Anonymous said...

Love to your family. Thought of you all day...

Sharon said...

We are here for you. Always.

spedhead said...

Wow, you guys are so loved.

Cassie @ Primitive & Proper said...

i read this with tears streaming down my face- so beautiful and so much love surrounds you all. your rare bird was clearly so special to so many people.

Four Marrs and One Venus said...

Wow.. amazing post full of love, love for Jack and your family. Kindness ringed out entirely in this post, the photos were breathtaking. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Thinking of you all
Jen

Serendipity Refined said...

I have no words. Thank you for sharing. xo

Hyphen Interiors said...

Ahh, this brought back the emotions felt in that post about a year ago. The community support is beautiful! Thank you for sharing. He is VERY remembered and will always be.

Michelle said...

Wow. Goosebumps on my arms right now. I'm so glad you all are able to feel all the love that you do.

Arnebya said...

This is a beautiful reminder that people can be what we need, even when we think our sadness will be too much for them. Your community is a special one, Anna, and I am so grateful your family was able to be lifted up by them, their special, kind words about Jack, their memories, the forever connection.

Recovering Church Lady said...

I have wondered about the difference a community can make in a tragedy. Do we keep it private and to ourselves or share? Your experience is so beautiful, even in the pain. But I can see the unexpected and deep value of being community for those around me. Thank you for this lesson Anne.

Mags said...

You obviously have some very special neighbors - all of those paper birds and luminaries are amazing. What special tributes to your precious boy, Jack. And how wonderful of God to let you know that your son is safe and whole and healthy and happy in Heaven with Him (the double-rainbow). Even though we haven't met, I think of you often and say a prayer or two (or many!) that you are feeling peace in your heart and strength through your loss.
Most sincerely,
Maggie Buckley
(a friend of Gail Headley)

JMB Ranch said...

Rainbows remind us of beauty after a storm. A double is extra special. I do believe it was a sign from above...maybe even Jack.
Huggss to you...
Brenda

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

I like what Suburban Correspondent said: "So, in our choosing to remember with you, we were just acting our part as the body of Christ."

It's how we share God's love... it's how we bear one another's burdens... it's how the family of God works.

May you feel each day the peace that passes all understanding.

Anonymous said...

Everything about this is perfect, except for one thing.

The question mark.

There's no question that your community held, and holds, your family beautifully. I'm amazed by their creativity and kindneses.

And there is Another who promises to hold you.

Always.

To the end of the age.

Anonymous said...

PS

I'm so verklempt that I can't spell KINDNESS...but you still have our full attention...

Anonymous said...

WONDERFUL -- and I mean that in every sense of the word.

-- Joan in PA

jeeper said...

Anna, Angie Smith had a contest for a blogger who deserved to win a spa day. Although I do not know you I felt you certainly deserved to win. She had many entries and although you did not win she is giving copies of her new book Mended. Thank you so much to everyone who entered the contest. We truly wish we could give each of you a day at the spa! And although we can’t, we are going to send a free copy of Mended to each of you who entered a link to the contest post. Email the link to your Mended post and your mailing information to mendedbook@gmail.com and we will send you the book! Your link was the one you wrote about the "terrible night" Hope you will enjoy her book. Angie Smith's blog is Bring the Rain, in case you have not read her story.

Heather said...

Goosebumps. and prayers.

Cindy O'Brien said...

What a truly amazing group of neighbors, friends and teachers to reach out to you and your family on this day. I was praying from a hotel room in Portland Oregon! God is soooooo good, even in the pain.

Wayne said...

I feel very privileged to know you, if only through this blog. Thank you ever so much for sharing this

Heidi said...

Oh, those lanterns! I'm crying over here. Love you.

Jamie said...

I am so glad your day was as peaceful as possible. It's big, making it through the first crapiversary. I called it D-day, for dead day. Yeah, I got a lot of horrified looks. ;) For me, the day before my son died was the hardest. It was like I was counting down his remaining alive hours. It's wierd this life now. Love that your friends surrounded you!

Kara said...

Just beautiful. So beautiful.

jodifur said...

oh Anna, that is so beautiful.

I thought of you so much on that day, living not far from you, just on the other side in Md. And when that storm came, my heart dropped, and I thought....not today...please...just not today. But to know something so beautiful came.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Oh Thursday...even though it wasn't the actual anniversary date - I felt it all day as the "same Thursday." I thought about what I was doing (bailing water in my basement and feeling sorry for myself - oblivious to something so terrible happening 15 minutes away) as well as what you were doing.

This is a month of anniversaries - awful "this time last years" - and I'm thinking about you constantly. How lucky I am to live so close - because I know how hard it is for others to not be able to see you and sit with you...just make plans to meet you for lunch.

I loved looking at all of those handwritten "Jack's" on Facebook and the pictures of rainbows and sunsets and origami birds.

Sending all three of you (plus your sister and her family) SO much love. Every day.

Annabelle said...

Gal 6:1

Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Thank you also for the joy of this post and the beauty of remembering.

Kimberley Poncin said...

Cried and smiled the whole way through this post. We got the terrible storm out here in Western Loudoun that day and I immediately thought of you all and sent prayers up for your family. What amazing neighbors you have. A beautiful tribute to a beautiful boys life.

Anonymous said...

"For me, the day before my son died was the hardest. It was like I was counting down his remaining alive hours."

@Jamie, thank you. The idea of counting down the hours gives me a new understanding that I'll never forget. I'm so sorry for your loss, even though I know words are not enough, and I can't really understand.

PeachPrenni said...

Amazing..just amazing!! So glad you were surrounded by so much love and support and that you were able to really feel it!! I was loving you from GA and sending many prayers your way. xo
Annie

Donna Schaefer said...

Incredible! It really speaks to me about you you must be to have that kind of love and support surrounding you. God's Blessings!

Kristen Mae said...

What a beautiful, heart-wrenching post. I love the rainbows. I love that we get to know a little of your sweet Jack through your writing. Thank you so much and God Bless.

Anonymous said...

"The humid air was heavy, as were our spirits."

This one sentence gives me a sense of how that flashback of a day carried a terrible weight. Every detail sounds so hard, but this one grabs me...or draws me in...neither of those quite describes it, but I'm so sorry.

the Hawks said...

Dear Anna, Tim, and Margaret,

This precious reflection brought to mind one of my favorite Scripture passages, which you elude to: 1 Cor 12:22-26

Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary,
and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety,
whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it,
so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another.
If [one] part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy.

With great love and gratitude,
~jen

Elizabeth R said...

Today: instead of doing extra housework I watched a movie with my little boy, I told my daughter a longer than usual bedtime story, and I cuddled my baby a little more than normal. Thank you for the reminder and inspiration about what matters most in life.

Stimey said...

I love you so much. I am so happy that you felt your burden spread around, if even just a little bit. I know that every one of us would happily take heavy weights for you if would lift even one ounce of pain.

I thought about you a lot last week and last weekend. And I thought about Jack. I'm so glad that you have such a tremendous community.

Mimi said...

What a beautiful post Anna. I'm so sorry you had to mark this terrible day. What a true definition of the body of Christ. So glad you felt peace and seeing your facebook page as well as the sky light up with color was amazing.

Jill said...

I thought of you every single day last week ... from Margaret starting school, to the crappy, rainy Saturday.

You have amazing friends. Loved that rainbow and the luminaria.

Beautiful. Touching. Amazing. Love you girlfriend! xx

K A B L O O E Y said...

Whew. That path of luminaria (is that the plural?) was even more beautiful than the double rainbow. I'm so glad your community is still rallying around your beautiful family and letting you know how much they were and are still touched by Jack. Love to you all.

Anonymous said...

I am in awe of the kindness of your neighbors and community, friends and strangers and by the many meaningful gestures of love and remembrance of Jack. The ribbons, hands, birds and luminaries - just wonderful. The weather and rainbows....so fitting. And i am proud to have been one of the many, many people who thought of Jack and prayed for your family and tried to lift your burdens during this awful time. I am glad you felt the love and were able to feel some peace.

Anonymous said...

Your community is amazing. So loving. I'm so glad that they are there for you. And the sunset and the rainbows? They have given me chills.

Much love to all of you,

jbhat

The Empress said...

With eyes so filled with tears, I can barely see the keys here, and with a lump in my throat the size of a peach pit, I want to open my front door right now -- at this hour of midnight -- and shout, "THIS. THIS WOMAN'S LIFE IS A TESTAMENT TO GOD'S PROMISE."

He will hold you up, make you strong, wipe your tears, give you faith, and bless you with the peace that surpasses all human understanding.

I don't understand this peace He's given you.

I accept it, am grateful for it, and love HIM all the more for pouring it over you.

Our GOD is so good. So bountiful and good.

Nomads By Nature said...

God is good. All the time. I am so happy that you had such showers of love and comfort to hold you through this past week. What amazing neighbors and friends.

tracy@sellabitmum said...

Tears. Speechless. God's grace. xo

Halfway Between Hopes and Dreams said...

May the love, laughter and lifting up by others give you strength. We are days away from the six-month mark, and like you, it's the gestures by people who know us (and those who don't) that make the absolute worst life can throw at us somewhat bearable. Thinking of you...

Anonymous said...

So sorry it's got to be like this... but so glad so many people were there for you.

So glad for your moments of peace. All of you richly deserve them.

May you stay loving and loved.

With love, as always.

K x

Laura said...

'if God leads you to it, He will bring you through it' . . .

. . . with the help, love, support, and prayers of an amazing community ~ both near and far. Just as the bench is a lovely result of crappy decisions that had to be made, it is a joy to read what a beautiful weekend it was - in spite of the crappity, crap, crap reason it was being remembered.

xoxo

Heather said...

I felt the reference of that day myself and I'm so thankful all of you did too! It's amazing to see how your community surrounded you with love, locally and all over the world.

OSMA said...

I'm so glad that, by the looks of it, you have a very long driveway :)

What a brilliant surprise. It makes me happy to think of your wonderful neighbors sneaking around your house setting everything up like angels on a mission. I bet more smiles were exchanged than tears. Or at least I really hope so.

xoxoxo

Julie said...

Anna - When I heard about your rainbows, I couldn't help but think of Noah and his, with God's promise that the floods would never again destroy all life. I hope God made you a promise that day Anna, and that you found peace and comfort and a sense of security in it.

Julie said...

Anna - When I heard about your rainbows, I couldn't help but think of Noah and his, with God's promise that the floods would never again destroy all life. I hope God made you a promise that day Anna, and that you found peace and comfort and a sense of security in it.

Julie said...

Anna - When I heard about your rainbows, I couldn't help but think of Noah and his, with God's promise that the floods would never again destroy all life. I hope God made you a promise that day Anna, and that you found peace and comfort and a sense of security in it.

Lisa Trapp said...

I happened upon your blog through a friend's facebook......I have spent more than a few hours reading a lot of your blog and about what you have gone through. First I want to say I am so sorry and I know no words can help ease the pain your family is going through but what I have seen through your blog is the support of amazing friends, an amazing God, and amazing faith.

I loved the origami birds, and rainbows, and your incredible openness with your heartache. My son Steven is your son Jack's age....he too died.....after a 2 1/2 year battle with leukemia. He would have been in 8th grade this year....the 8 year "crap-iversary" is in November. I have two daughters now 18 and 16....it's been 8 years since he died and although I've never commented on anyone's blog, I feel compelled to write to you. I know you are hurting and the anniversaries or as you so appropriately call them "crap-iversaries" are always hard, BUT there continues to hope, and healing, and renewed faith and SO many signs of God and support from friends and family every single year. The one year anniversary is especially hard but please know that Jack will be with you forever. The night before our son died, our hospice physician said "think of it this way....your entire family is standing together holding hands and it's like Steven has taken just one step forward...and in what is like the blink of an eye you will all be together again." What feels like forever to us is like the blink of an eye to them. You will see Jack again and what a reunion that will be! I'm so sorry you have had to go through such a terrible tragedy. The only comfort I can offer is that even 8 years later I still see butterflies at unusual times, I still have friends do special things just when we need it, and I still receive random emails about how our son's journey changed someone's life.....and from what I've read about your wonderful son--I know you will too.

I wish I had the right words to ease any pain but all I can say from one mom whose lost a child to another, is that you will get stronger and God walks with you every single step of the way.

God bless you and your beautiful family.

Lisa in San Antonio

ella said...

What a beautiful post. I'm so thankful for your loving neighbors and friends.

Anonymous said...

Lisa Trapp had EXACTLY the right words to ease your pain. Your plight and her response brought me to tears. I have lost many people close to me, including TWO husbands... but never my child. I really believe little signs are always present if you are open to them. I feel blessed to have found your blog tonight.

A Speckled Trout said...

I don't know what the receiving end of this must have been like because the reading end of it was overwhelming. God is in the details and in your neighborhood.

And on a side note, the comment from Lisa in San Antonio was so full of hope and love. What a lovely thought her son's doctor left her family to pass on.

the ::packs:: said...

I'm so proud of you for making it through these highly dreaded days. I'm finding little similarities with your 'rare bird' & my 'little dove'. The little corner of your house showing in one of the pics looks like it could be a little corner of our house. I love your little Jack & like to think that our sons are buddies in heaven.

Japolina said...

Hugs to you and your family !

rustic interior design said...

I enjoyed reading your articles. This is truly a great read for me. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles.

mandy dix said...

Could hardly read through the tears...prayers continue. x

suzannah | the smitten word said...

weeping with you, and praising God for that rainbow. (i'm from lccc, and we're sending much love your way.)

Melissa said...

I just sent this to my cousin, who lost her little boy 2 weeks before his 4th birthday just about 2 months ago. I pray continually for peace for her. I believe you can help. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

This is beautiful. Sending love and prayers your way.

Lisa said...

Wow. It is amazing to read about all of the love lifting you three up during that rough week. Love does win.

And the rainbow...love it.

Meg McCormick said...

God is mysterious and amazing. Bless your heart.

Alethea Fitzpatrick said...

I am weeping and sending love.

macmac524 said...

Wow! I am awed by such powerful examples of the human spirit at it's best.

Lil Jenn said...

From one broken heart to another it thrills me to read this, as thrilled as you can be during days like this. I truly believe that quality people in our life are what gets us through the highs and lows in life and I am so happy to see that you and your family have that. Hugs, love and prayers

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Jack and all of you are always in our hearts--and you have done that with your writings about your beautiful son and your terrible pain.

Reannah @ {Shaped by Grace} said...

You are so strong and so full of courage. My pastor spoke today about The Courage to Keep Going. It was so relevant to everything you wrote about - if you get a chance, I've included the link to listen to it. It was very powerful and full of love as well. http://www.saddleback.com/mc/m/f417e/

Love and prayers to you all. xo, Reannah

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Anonymous said...

I live in united state, Two years ago i married a lady called saline, we had two children together, we were very happy to be husband and wife, so when i travel on business trip to Brazil, i spent 1 years in Brazil due to my kind of business, i and my wife talked on phone all the time, we chat on the Internet, i never knew that my wife had started cheating on me by going out with her old school friend called mark, i never knew something was going wrong till i came back from my trip, then i and My wife started having problems, she goes out and come back late at night, she changed in a strange way that i could not endure, i tried to do everything to please her but it got worst, so one day she left the house and never came back, i tried reaching her but no way i could reach her, i never knew she traveled with her new lover which was mark, i wanted her so much because of the children she left for me and because i loved her so much too, because of the heart break she put me into, i went into search of a real magic spell caster I was scammed twice by a spell caster, but I never relented in my search because I want a happy life with my wife, so one morning i saw testimony about a spell caster prophet harry, so i contacted him and to my greatest surprise this prophetharry@ymail.com made life manful for me again, my wife came back to me, i took her back and I am now settled with my wife by the magic power of prophet harry spell .
James moon'

Pam said...

"If we—Tim, Anna and Margaret-- have to suffer no matter what, being separated from Jack, does it make sense to have others suffer with us? Would it be better to spare them?" No, never. I don't know you guys in person, but have prayed for you for many months. I believe God intends us to be here for you. We can't make it better, but we can share in the love & the pain. If I could, I would change what happened, since I can't I can share a little bit of it. Love to you guys.

Anonymous said...

WOw! It is hard not to imagine that the was not a sign from Jack. You have some truly amazing neighbors. I am still thinking of Jack...and you, Tim and Margaret. Hugs, NoVa mom Jen

tearinguphouses said...

what wonderful friends and neighbors. hang in there.

Princess Kate said...

Our family was down in Charlottesville this past weekend and we saw a Jack ribbon on the back of someone's car. It made me smile. I love the love people show for him and your family. Hugs.

Chimmy said...

there is such a beauty in community even when it comes from the crappiest place. i hope you, Tim and Margaret were relieved and cotinue to be of a little bit of the heaviness. Death does not have the last word. And Jack's life has extended out into the hearts of many ... forming a community under the heavens and rainbows that none of us could have imagined.

Much love to you Anna.

Sandi said...

much love to you and your family, Anna ♥

Leslie said...

ALWAYS praying, Anna. My whole family is always praying. When I asked Brett (husband) in the first week of September to please be praying extra hard this month for each of you, before I finished my sentence he said, "I already have been, Leslie, for sure." My kids talk about Jack, a little boy they didn't know here, but know they'll meet in heaven.

WE ARE ALWAYS PRAYING.

Much, much love.

Mary said...

I have been reading your story for just less than a year. Thank you for this message.

Rachelle said...

I thought of you, your family and Jack all weekend. I myself was questioning God's message when the storm came through that evening... of all days. The pictures of the rainbow are priceless though and tell God's true message, one of love and hope.

At one point this year you had posted that you had been told the second year is sometimes the hardest... I want to let you know that Jack will be in our hearts forever and that we are all here for you whenever you need it.

Sending love to your family!

Jackie said...

Wondering if I'm ever going to read your blog and NOT cry. Today it was tears of joy watching your community and neighbors surround you in God's light. You radiate God's love through your writings. Thank you!

Midwest Mom said...

Oh My word. That rainbow makes me breathless. Wow, God is good and so faithful. What a beautiful and happy ending to a day that was so heartwrenching for you guys.

Sending hugs from Chicago!!

Alex@LateEnough said...

I'm glad that your grief is shared because so is your love.

Jessica said...

Oh I lost it at the origami birds. I'm glad you were surrounded by such love on such a difficult day.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

In all the sadness of your grief, in the rememberance of the tragic events of last year, it is so beautiful to see the outpouring of love for Jack and your family along with the gifts from God which all bring warmth to my heart. ((HUGS))

Anonymous said...

I give thanks to God at every remembrance of you,
praying always with joy in my every prayer for you,
I am confident of this, that the One who began a good work in you will continue to complete it.
It is right that I should think this way,
because I hold you in my heart,
you who are companions with me in Grace.

—Philippians 1:3–7

Kathy at kissing the frog said...

I'm bawling here. I hate crapiversaries, and I'm sorry you have to have many more. On Joey's first crapiversary we had a Joey party. We reserved a room for lunch and looked at his pictures of all his goofy faces he used to make and we told goofy Joey stories. On his second crapiversary, my husband planned for us to be out of town until I reminded him what day it was. And he said, "Oh," and he just knew I wouldn't go anywhere because I had to be here with Joey. I hope all of Jack's crapiversaries are as peaceful as this one. I feel like there is more I should say. Instead, i'm sending you a cyber hug from one broken mama heart to another.

Melanie said...

So amazing. Seems like the crapiversary weekend was made special by so much love and friends and good memories of Jack. Yay.

It is so cool to see how you and Tim and Margaret got to share Jack with the world and how what comes back to you, even though he's no longer here, is such a beautiful love from all those who he knew, knew him and were touched by him.

Of course, let's not forget those in the blogosphere who have been touched too by Jack - like me. :-))

Big Hugs and Love to You, Tim and Margaret.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how I came across your blog but I did & I had to leave a comment. You and your family seem so strong and so full of light, you inspire me.

Kiri said...

Thank you Anna. I was having some thoughts about this today and after reading this post I jotted them down. http://retrogirlandchemokid.blogspot.co.nz/2012/12/held-up-by-love.html

Anonymous said...

"Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother--she'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors." -Band Perry